OVERALL COORDINATORS
Antil a.k.a Rupin (first name Vaibhav)
Not Narad Muni, we have our own rendition of Narad from Haryana. No ifs, no buts, only Jats. The buoy from Sonipat, the man who can give anything and everything for MI. Meet Vaibhav Antil, also known famously in Haryana as Rupin. Yes, that's him.
Antil has the longest bitching thread in the entire team, and he would have had that irrespective of him being the boss. One simple reason : Antil is the gossip queen, the attention monger, the budget-cutter, the undertaker... you get it I guess.
Antil the Gossip queen
Antil will gossip for hours on any topic, be it insti polt, placements, batchmates, CGs, anything, and at the end of the discussion tell you with a blank face : "Tu bahut zyada sochta hai is sab ke baare me".
Antil the attention monger
When not given enough attention in any meet, Antil will bang the table and say, "Shaant raho, kya chal raha hai". A foxy, conquering smile appears later, "Yeah, pwnd it baby".
Antil the budget-cutter
When wanting to get something done, Antil has this secret weapon down his sleeve. "Oye, buget nahi dunga, samjha na?". Every person in the team then sits quietly looking at Antil with a puppy face, as Antil's foxy smile reappears and Antil repeats to himself, "I am the King..".
Antil the Undertaker/the Warg
Antil has a magical ability, one which is activated when someone says something stupid. Then his eyes roll up, till his pupil isn't seen and everything becomes white. He controls the person speaking bullshit and inserts sense into his mind all of a sudden. The person generally goes, "Oh haan, abhi chamka!", and the foxy smile...
Antil the MI Senti man
As I said before, he can do anything and everything for MI. His freshie year statuses include, "Wow so many pretty girls around", "Had fun working wid ma buddies", and some more things which will make my hands ache as I type them out, so see you for now. If you want to know this guy better, just call him up and speak in a soft girly voice.
Oops, sorry Antil budget mat kam karna.
Vishesh a.k.a mentor
"Real action happens behind the scenes"
We used to always wonder about the mysterious chopper landings in the institute until we got to know that the CIA, NaMo, The Gandhi family, Bain, McKinsey, BCG visit him for advice on strategic and political matters that their top thinktanks can't solve. In return, mentor is paid generous sums of cash and kind which he never keeps it for himself but rather spends it on team treats unlike his co-OC who prefers to wear the 'broke' badge instead of his OC badge. It is also reported that mentor has the capabilities and contacts to get entire MI sponsored but he prefers not to misuse his powers.
The breeding cycle of lizards, the sale of hero cycles in lizard ridden areas, the cycle symbol of a political party, the cycle of birth and death, the cycle aggarbatthi's marketing strategy, the effect of global warming on the water cycle, how Lance Armstrong wasn’t really a cyclist, the absence of menstrual cycle in men - there isn't a topic on which mentor hasn't given a thought on.
The 'adorable' mentor is a real chick (or cheek rather) magnet who intentionally circulates his topless photographs on the internet and later pretends to get annoyed hiding a victorious smile behind his well made up face (thanks to his initial involvement with dramatics). Mentor takes pride in not taking relationships to the next level and leaving the bandi craving for every inch of his fair skin, his long nose (which was the reason why Rancho of 3 idiots thought that kiss karte waqt naak beech mein aati hai), his well styled hair (which is set straight after every 3 minutes with adorable hand movements), his typically styled clothes and his soft deep voice which can turn surprisingly booming at times.
Mentor can do anything for Mood I – he was once asked to guide traffic at the Powai naka for four continuous days and nights and since then has developed a patented style of hand movements combined with an unusual chewing and subsequent broadening of lips. This style can be used for conveying his mood, getting a chick started or stopped, expressing his disgust at not so amusing discussions during the team meets, abusing an idiot (who practically can be anyone in the universe), explaining his out of the box insights, styling his hair, typing in an adorably cute fashion, holding the microphone and imitating irritating authorities.
Limited by the small size of his stomach, Mentor finds it difficult to hold secrets within the belly and ends up revealing department specific secrets in front of the entire team. His annoyance with the ‘+1’ has made him find an easy substitute in the ‘ (blank) ' which has become his trademark and he’s also chalking out a master plan to make everyone pay whenever he/ she uses the (you know which smiley – I might have to just pay). When normal human beings watch unmentionable videos on their laptops, mentor is busy watching entrepreneurship videos and analyzing business plans. He knows every person in and out and also in the process of publishing his own paper in psychology which will be a part of the curriculum years down the line.
“So the thing is…” is how he raises every point. If you meet mentor and start getting bored due to all the gyan, start observing his hand movements and boredom shall pass away soon.
Now proceeding department wise, in alphabetical order of departments,
COMPETITIONS
Atharva Kelkar a.k.a. Kela:
Abey mujhe farra lag raha hai ye sem. Main stalker nahi hu. Abey naam se hot lag rahi hai. Tu Raindey!
“Ek baar mein football khel raha tha to ek makkhi seedhe meri aankh mein gaya, mein aankh paani se dhoyi aur so gaya, subah utha to ek dum kaala kaala dikh raha tha poore time, itni badi makkhi mere aankh mein hi thi”
“Agar koi khane ka item neeche girta hai toh 3 sec ke andar usse kha sakte hai! Usne Table par pyaaz giraya then he counted 1,2 and ate!”
Hats off to the man for his confidence about his made up facts! There are times when he fantasizes about situations, very intelligently convert them into stories (with him being the second person) and narrate with sheer pleasure. He becomes the spectator in the same story when he retells. Anyway, according to him, this talent is inherited because in his childhood, he was made to believe that there were mosquitoes of the size of his hand. We are just waiting for the day when he says, "Arey, maine khud dekha apni aankho se".
Commonly known for critically analyzing a situation, the most composed person of the team (Ignore the previously mentioned things for now. Or wait, don’t). According to him, everything that's popular or gaining popularity is on the lines of being "cool" and he simply can not resist mocking everyone related to it. We can't really blame him for it, he's a lit guy.
He can sit at a restaurant/canteen/any-food-place for hours just to meet someone he knows to eat from his/her plate. He has done that. Later that night when he gave it a thought, he regretted it a bit and began to spank himself. It's still unknown how that punishment got converted into pleasure but it has been observed that since then, he spanks himself at least thrice a day. Even after all this, he is respected, no one knows why.
Radhika Bhadada A.K.A. Ser (\m/) Bhadada -
Arey yaar kya yaar; Compi_2013\m/;
Probably the most tolerant person in the team. Once she got hit by a car and all she said was a nasal “Arrey kyyaa problem hai tujheee”. Bhadada once went to an area with a lot of trees and bushes and she co-incidently and very evidently confused it with a shady area. A devotee of “Summer love” because there are certain things/activities that u love to do in either summer/ winter because of the season. Yes, precisely.
When we all met to decide the theme for Mood Indigo, Bhadada with her confident philosophical-self and a profound and composed look on her face speaks suggests “50 Shades of Grey” for reasons, still unknown to the others. Anyway, we laughed for reasons unknown to her, we collectively believe.
Apart from posting the most epic things on the coordinator groups and on the team group (Followed by a “Bhadada machaati hai” by kela), she has a lot of cravings for laughing for no reason. She is the one whose laughter initiation requires the least activation energy, especially in meets. And she thinks counting Busi’s tch’s during the meet would help. She is a huge fan of Prithviraj Chauhan and she celebrates his birthday every year with cheesy statuses and a secret cake cutting (Yes we know about that). Nevertheless, we will ignore this fact and keep it a secret.
Oh, we can even write salkfnaewkfbadslhbd over here. She hardly reads updates. :P
CREATIVES
Patole (first name Mayuresh)
We see the world in black, white and numerous shades of grey. Patole sees it in 000-fff.
Patole a.k.a. Patolus Maximus a.k.a. The Beautiful Boy is the poster boy of MI. Well, literally. All those flowing colours and vibrant designs that you've been seeing till now, this guy is to blame for them.
Patolus has an eye for the beautiful, and the beautiful have an eye for Patole. The ladies man that he is, Patole has once stated, "Arey ye ladki mujhpe marti hai, par main haan nahi bolunga. Digitalizable nahi lag rahi shakal se".
What he means by digitalizable, I do not know, and neither does anybody else. What we do know is that he makes kickass prezis, and for all we know he will carry out his marriage proposal in a prezi.
Manipulation of images and manipulation of views is Patole's forte. Debates often start with Patole saying, "Actually main support karta hoon is cheez ko, but it really sucks completely".
When not using Photoshop to make himself look better to get more likes, he is a big fan of Dexter, Criminal Minds, murder mysteries and anything that involves bloodshed. What inspired this love is.... Shhh.
Dubey ..( first name Vinay)
“Sorry to interrupt, but I think the cost o’ Coffee here is too damn high!”
Penelope Cruz made sure that she wasn’t replaced in the Loreal commercial by bribing Dubey with a hamper that guaranteed unlimited coffee at Starbucks, an HTC One and infinite Loreal shampoo bottles. Shh! Loreal guys still don’t know it! Also, it took 19 months of R & D for Cadbury to come up with a chocolate in agreement with 50% silkiness of Dubey’s hair.
The famous show Raaz Pichle Janam ka conducted a special test on Dubey and it was ascertained that he had a glamorous pichla janam in the form of a Hollywood actress. Though this was never revealed to him, it certainly explains the attention grabbing girlish traits that Dubey possesses.
Thanks to years of being accustomed to All India Radio, Dubey gets uncontrollable urges to create interruptions in team meets followed by a “Sorry yaar woh main beech mein bol raha hoon”, instead of “Asuvidha ke liye khed hai”. In a cruel experiment by the OCs, he wasn’t allowed to speak for about half an hour despite his hand being in the air. It started shaking and till date continues to vibrate – often serving as a toner for his hair.
A not so miserly person in life, Dubey likes to save every single penny by questioning the supposed overuse of letterheads, registration booklets and ambiance elements. When not working with flexes, banners and ambiance and not attending strictly ‘professional’ calls, Dubey loves to get high on..umm.. well.. anything – coffee, nimbu paani, work, bathing, songs that no one listens to, love quotes, google group spams, karela juice, toothpaste etc etc.
If you ever encounter Dubey, make sure you have ample of time to talk about random stuff. And make sure do feel his hair that leave silkworms searching for their identity!
Tushar a.k.a Bhalu
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Why we call him Bhalu is a mystery which no one seems to be able to answer. Maybe it's his bulky build and curly hair, or maybe it's his attraction for food which leads him to decimate people eating in front of him for one bite.
Whatever be it, we call him Bhalu and that works. Tushar Saxena a.k.a. Bhalu is the spider-man of our team. He knows how to spin the web. Ok, ignore that one. So for all those of you who haven't seen the website, go see it! That is what his fat fingers can do if given a keyboard and some days. Always the light-hearted guy, Tushar has some things in his life no one knows about. Why he loves Parineeti Chopra so much, and why he has only male contacts in his phone are some things we're yet to figure out. And while we're figuring that out, he's busy coding and coding, and coding....
An insane foodie, Bhalu has gone from the shady lanes of Mohammad Ali Road to Global Fusion, leaving his pug marks on every plate that he could get hold of. The bhel-puri eating Bhalu will eat food from the cheapest of outlets but when it comes to the sacred spirit, Bhalu is often heard saying, "Abbey Glenfiddich nahi to aankhon ke saamne mat laa!". Some taste, huh?
The Yes Man that he is, I don't seem to recollect the last time Bhalu said no to anyone or anything. "Ho jaayega, isme kya hai?" is his patented line. To know more, you can see the source code of any page, because a man is only as good the web he casts...
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FOOD & BEVERAGES
Atul aka Miyaan aka FnB
It is famously said that an AC dynamo was made after looking at Atul's hand moving up and down vociferously, generating enough electricity to run a fridge for 4 days. Meet Atul, or as we fondly call him, FnB. The guy who promises to take everyone out for food tasting sessions and ends up "tasting" it alone. Whattaytraitor!
FnB is a silent, laidback guy who will never let anyone know what's happening inside his mind. But when it comes to food and getting food for people, FnB is there to the rescue! Be it getting food stalls to MI or ensuring that everyone gets food, Atul is like the big Momma of Mood I, giving everyone hot tasty food. Showing off his affinity for sleep by saying, "Main 14 ghanta to sota hi hoon", Atul hides the vigorous stress of meetings and traveling miles for that one "tasting" session with his calm demeanour.
HORIZONS
Darpan Malkan a.k.a. Malkan a.k.a. Barooch a.k.a. Vogue CG
Steps to become Malkan:
-Always play with your tshirt.
-Narrow down your eyes, keep a constant smile on your face and then pass the next comment.
-Make "Zyaada hasi aa rahi hai kya?" as your finishing move and be proud of it.
-Take a small phrase in English and use it no matter what. Be sure that it's irrespective of the situation.
-Dream about marrying SRK. Tweet about him showing respect as soon as you find an opportunity.
-Be proud that you are from Bharuch as it has FAME CINEMAS.
-Show your obsession with French artists to every random person/animal/alien/thing you find on road!
-Buy the 10 rupees version of "Hot SMS" to lure girls with your "charm"
-Be innovative, but previously mentioned things are more important!
Dhawal Goyal a.k.a Dhawal Goyal
Aur bhai kaisa hain ?
Having achieved the rare feat of not having a nickname branded by the team (the efforts failed rather miserably), all this man let out was his trademark Gabbar-laughter (haan, wahi Sholay waala). Probably the most logical person in the team, he insists on applying logic everywhere be it eating, sleeping and even in his dreams. So much so that the other team-members are scared to raise the ‘holy-word’ when he is around. (they’ve even devised a code-language, so I’ve heard)
Often caught succumbing to his guilty pleasures on the lappie (nah, not those ones) but an ensemble called ‘Walk Off the Earth’, Dhawal retorts any questions on his fetish by saying, ‘Aur koi gaana sunne ka logic toh do.’ (We: Umm… are speechless) So, the next time you get a pat on your back and hear the words ‘Aur bhai kaisa hain ?’, beware, you might just be hit by a bio-logical weapon.
Pulkit a.k.a Anura Salentia (biological for frog; simply speaking - mendak)
This species is often found croaking during the thunderstorms of debates that go on in the MI room. The croaks are often neglected, laughed at or muted down. Propositions are also floated to marry the toad to his better half which light up this creature’s day and make him go croak-a-doodle-do! Legend has it that he lured her into a relationship with the false promise of him turning into a charming prince after the kiss which sadly hasn’t happened so far (not the kiss, the transformation).
Froggie as he’s called by many non amphibian team mates loves to jerk off (his neck) and in the process never fails to entertain everyone and please himself. Despite being a muggle, this bhola bhaala mendak is a strong believer in magical powers which trump over logic and help transform his unearthly yet innovative ideas to reality in his imaginary world. A frontrunner in proposing new issues, Pulkit always keeps his coordinators and their interests above him. He holds the world record for typing the maximum number of kudos in a google group. A free bird (sorry toad), Pulkit is super fun and quirky (croaky rather) to hang out with – given the fact that he easily takes out his wallet in this inflation ridden world. Despite the insults that are whirled at him, including this write up, he has the talent to extend his tongue, swallow it up, digest it and throw it out in the sportiest way possible.
“No one ever laughs at Pulkit!”, said a mortal long ago. His accompanists died laughing.
HOSPITALITY & PUBLIC RELATIONS
Himanshu Jaiswal a.ka. Jassi/ Choo
Just any other day in the life of our accounts guy goes like this –
1. Wake up.
2. Go to accounts section.
3. Go to the bank.
4. Go to the accounts section.
5. Go back.
6. Sleep.
This routine is followed by him so religiously that people swear they have seen his soul wandering about the accounts section even on national holidays. I wonder what they were doing there, but that another time.
Along with this, Jassi also holds the position of being one of the hospitality CGs. His eye for detail is so supreme that all it takes is one look and he can put forth to you the person’s entire history and maybe geography too. Haha, I like the way you think.
Just some more trivia about Choo: He loves being sung ‘Soft Kitty’ when he’s sick. Atleast that’s what his status said sometime ago. Bazinga !
Vishal Poddar a.k.a Charsi
Charas Ganja, Suljha denge uljhe rishto ka Manja.
The man himself. Meet Vishal Poddar, oh wait you've already met him? Yes yes, must be handing the CL letter over to you. You must be hot... Oops.
Where do we start with this guy? Hating this guy is impossible, and I mean it. Charsi has his own charms and ways about people. With guys, he's the guy-next-door, the one who will joke with you and ask you for treats ALL THE EFFING TIME. The same dude transforms into an irresistible hunk when he talks to the opposite gender. "Der?" is what he asks me when I'm online. "Hey good looking, you make my morrow beautiful" is how he greets the ladies. Oh yes, Mr. Charming.
Adding to his charm are some of the most unique habits you'll ever see. For example, this guy starts sobbing uncontrollably when he's bored. He also tends to say one particular word about all the sisters in India particularly delightfully.
Poddar has this unthinkably smooth skill of taking treats from people. He'll come up to you and say, "Saale kabhi khilaata nahi, aaj khila de, main next time khilaaunga". 6 months later, there have been too many aaj khila de's, and I'm still waiting for that next time to happen...
Apart from all this, Vishal is handling Hospitality and Publi Relations at MI. And how good is he at that! We've heard stories of CLs coming to his room and gifting him mangoes, keychains, gold bracelets.. ok not gold, but I swear I've seen CLs gift him Mangoes and treat him at exquisite places! Despite all this, this man is still firmly on the ground and will never make a fuss about getting another treat.
INFORMALS
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Busi (first name Pratik - really??)
Born in the heart of Guntur, Andhra Pradesh, Busi a.k.a. Boos does everything in his power to act and look like a SoBo kid. In the mornings, he wears his baggy three-fourth, hipster-geek glasses and crocs. At night, he retires to his room,
switches to his ganji and drink dal with his palm.
Meet Pratik Busi, the man who informally does everything so formally. Be it scratching his head every 15 seconds, or saying "Tch" once after every 4 words, he never misses the chance to show us he's from SoBo. The dude is often spotted speaking accented English and telling people he got the babes from Bandra, but our sources tell us that this Gunturi goes to Pizza by the Bay and orders curd-rice with raw chillis.
To appear intellectual and worldly-wise, Busi has a fake twitter handle called @pratikbusi (which is apparently run by Parth Loya), which talks about the fights in Afghanistan and matters of international importance. However, his real twitter handle @BusiRa shows us a crop of tweets including why Chiranjeevi is awesome and how Allari Subhashini is hotter than Megan Fox.
Sigh. But even after all this, Busi is one of the most affable people in the team and is a constant pest in meets, where he says something ground-breaking half an hour after a discussion starts and everything needs to be discusses all over again. And when he's not busy winning Mr. MI, he's busy organizing it. Saala wannabe SoBo stud.
Kumat (first name Shreyans)
Kumat, who is also known by a modified name of a white biological fluid which better not be mentioned here, has the supernatural talent to laugh and cry at the same time over any situation. The glass windows of the Kishangarh hospital shattered into pieces when he cried after his birth and so did the nurse’s spectacles. Till today, he continues to cry for almost every little thing and has become the official cry baby of the team.
Kumat holds Skype meetings with the folks from India TV and suddenly switches tabs whenever someone enters his room to keep this job a secret. People! You need be careful in speaking anything in front of him – you never know, your harmless act today could very well become the international news tomorrow. People have lost elections thanks to this political mastermind who distorted statements and made the person look like a serial child killer cum psychopath.
Astronomers now measure the brightness of stars in new units called ‘Kumats’ owing to his super bright skin which shows no traces of melanin at all. To complement his pardesi looks, he has an accented English which make you feel that you have suddenly been transported to Europe. Katatonia is pronounced as Katchathonia, Particularly is pronounced as patchicularly, barter as batcher and so on and so forth.
The Poltu Kumat hates being called Poltu and that is why it has been mentioned twice over here. Poltu Kumat – third time. Coming back to the topic, Poltu Kumat (fourth it is) tries to put his point across in discussions and presentations by involving every department and their interests. He also brings in the inside political stories from across the campus through his non declarable sources. Though a Poltu, Kumat is a saint who holds values close to his heart. Kumat even declined a chance to score a girl in one of the fests when a pass was made to him.
One of the most creative members of the team, Kumat is an expert in pitching ideas that have a Pan Indian connect; ‘mitti ki khusbhoo’ turns him on. An expert at multi tasking, Kumat can manage a zillion tasks at any given time; move over Intel processors! Kumat doesn’t fear anybody and has the courage to put his point forth without any apprehensions.
Before meeting Kumat, make sure you have the taste to appreciate bad jokes!
MARKETING
Jeet aka well…. Maro Jeet
Apart from his studness in marketing and holding knives at sposors' throats, Jeet is a chilled out guy who doesn't worry much about anything else and talks at a decibel level which gets him jailed whenever he goes out after 10 at night.
Jeet is one big travel freak, and wherever Jeet goes (let's assume the Delhi metro), he exclaims, "Ye Metro meri hai, aur main is Metro ka Jayakant Jhaveri!" One last advice to girls out there, if you want to hit on Jeet, make sure you have : -LinkedIn profile -An official-looking photo in a suit -Your hair dyed white -Visiting Cards -Past experience at at least 3 MNCs
If you don't have any of these, you could just hand over your camera to Jeet and smile and tell him to click your photos. He's a sweet guy that way...
Navodit Sharma a.k.a Navo
Reasons girls love Navo:
1. Looks fresh out a fairness cream commercial.
2. Has the sweetest voice in the team (yes, there are girls too :P)
3. Sabse patli-kamar hain iski (XX-needs a screw gauge-XX, if you know what I mean)
4. Takes an hour to dress up
5. Is trained in Bharat-natyam too.
Well, the above could also be valid reasons why guys like girls or don’t. I’m just saying. :D
The most composed person in the team, you’d have never seen Navo losing his cool. Has a huge crush on Kristen Stewart and cars, often expressing his delight in a rather excited fashion. Oh ! Look at those curves on the headlights…
Also he prefers to wish people ‘Appy Bird Dee’ on their birthdays for reasons unknown yet to humanity.
Rewa a.k.a Amma
" Why can’t Robin Hood be a bandi? "
Since her childhood, she has been on a mission to erode the top corporations of their wealth and the male chauvinists of their manhood. Behind the scenes of her kinetic eyes brews a master plan of siphoning out money from the corporations and using it to solve each and every issue of the society including non employment of cats.
“I don’t manipulate people, I just do my job”. Known for extracting cash out of the toughest sponsors, Rewa can lure Kingfisher airlines into sponsoring a Nirmal baba festival. Several team members still think that she responds to important messages during the meet and ‘sponsor’ or ‘marketing’ is the only word to disturb her meditative engagement with the cell phone.
With neck movements and nods that can leave Noddy embarrassed, she can sway the discussion (just like she sways her eyes into disappearance) into a politically favourable direction. A vegetarian who is often the first to grasp the not so vegetarian hidden meaning behind guys' jokes, she has befriended all animals she found on the campus. Reports say that the recent increase in Panther sightings in the campus could be due to domestication of the wild cat (the panther not Rewa). A motherly figure for her coordinators and organizers (and for everyone in the team who call her amma) amma has been following the footsteps of Sanjoo Baba in giving everyone a jhappi for reasons as trivial as clearing the first level in Super Mario brothers. This motherly figure also has the gambler’s instinct to judge the slightest of human reactions; she has been involved in several lie detector tests where the machine was used as a placebo and she was the real lie detector. Rewa hates lies and tries to stay with the sach as much as possible even while labeling some of her own batch mates as ‘cute’ and ‘sweet’.
Potential sponsors, beware! Unless you are ‘cute’!
On second thoughts, doesn’t matter, Beware!
MEDIA & PR
Abhirath a.k.a. Tommy:
+1 bey +1, :*
The CEO of the bank where people deposit ideas. Yes, that's pretty much on the productive part.
Tommy, the media-man, here is this short guy with (broken) specs who would just laugh around on anything that surrounds him. He remembers the jokes that we crack on him and later, cracks the same in front of his journalists, being on the other side. No wonder, they are in regular touch with him. Or may be that's because of his constant use of :* over chat. He is undoubtedly the mother of all +1s. He just doesn't type it on a suggestion, he would say it, eat it, breathe it, drink it, eat it, swim in it if possible. His addiction and affection towards +1s has often led him to checking on +1 on party invitations despite of being hopelessly single.
He types a word 5 times at a very fast speed instead of typing it once slowly. We assumed that he has no sense of a keyboard and since then, he has just been proving us correct. Once, he spent 2 (or more) hours on a presentation while listening to music. Just to flaunt his music taste (lol), he started air drumming and as the song took a high note, he smashed the keyboard exactly on the power button. He wasted the following five minutes hoping that it was autosaved, with a lot of abuses flourishing parallel to it.
He can be anyone, according to himself, with his failed mimicry attempts. The only thing that he has practiced and achieved perfectly till now is Mentor's flick of hand accompanied by that made-up baritone to increase the "dudeness" of the fact (I can sense a budget cut after this). Apart from being funny, he cracks jokes. Actually, he states jokes followed by his unique laughter with a proper build-up from the first 'ha' to the last 'ha'in 'ha ha ha ha'. He tries to create one-liners and one-worders (exist, in his case) from everything that he sees apart from the bright colored floral shirts that he is secretly fond of and forgets to change before meeting the general people living on this planet. He is this one guy who you can call anytime during the night because he is fond of staying up all night just so that he can watch Masterchef at 6 am in the computer room. We all think that it's high time to tell him that it's available online 24*7.
Very subtly and carefully, his sleeping schedule has not been mentioned here. It's very irregular as he does that just during the meets and lectures. This isn't it for Tommy (He hates this name, he prefers Shiro though). When not busy making a press release or increasing PR, he spends his time typing incorrect spellings during chats, watching C-grade reality shows, fantasizing to be featured in one of them someday, thinking of new jokes, crying about acads, rolling eyes like Rewa (I can see a budget cut again), laughing on bad jokes, breaking threads because of Lumia, calling Lumia stud, asking people to stop using Internet Explorer, buying bright shirts, giving flying kisses, thinking of ideas, forgetting those ideas, acting drunk after drinking bottle of coke, over-reacting when someone calls him Tommy, abusing other facebook pages, being cool, using random whatsapp smileys, liking posts, finding ways of re-liking posts and more things that can't be expressed here because of a few censorship issues.
P.S. If you want to talk to him, make sure you have an eye-catching whatsapp display picture. Laughing on his jokes is the second requirement, but you can always record it and play it as and when required.
Parth Loya a.k.a Loya
With an Ujjaini Kulfi in one hand, blessings from all the Gods that Ujjain's temples have to offer, and a mustache which can give Veerappan a run for his money, our very own Sir Parth Loya set out on a journey to "carry on a legacy which is 42 years old....".
Where normal people start the conversation as "Hey buddy, kaise ho?", Loya says, "Yo buddy, kaisa hey?". Known for his infinite capacity to eat, Loya once challenged Antil to an all-you-can eat duel at Laxmi. Antil, being the sober and sweet man that he is, took on the challenge and ate as much as he could. OC ne kha liya, may kese peeche reh sakta hoon? Saying these words, Loya drank two full glasses of Lassi and let out a big burp. Bus kya Antil, itna hi khaate ho? The bill was paid, but the dues still remained. They were all repaid to the gutter outside Loya's hostel in what has been called the Ujjain Flood Relief fund, Loya producing tons of food
from his body.
Everything else apart, Loya has a love for flash mobs which no one seems to be able to place. "Saare coordies ke liye koi event karaana hey, flash mob karaate hey". "Hum 400 colleges me to flash mob karaa hi sakte hey". The voracious debater that he is, Loya's particular grievance lies in the fact that his house's toilet is bigger than his hostel room. Loya voiced his greivance on the biggest platform of them all, Vaani's (IITB Hindi Club) Orientation video. And though the authorities didn't really pay attention, every freshman that year knew that Loya had one big toilet at home.
In case you want to meet him, look out for a tall handsome guy with spectacles and a handlebar mustache, who goes around shaking hands and saying, "Ore Bhai, Kesa Hey?"..
PRONITES
The man who smells good. The man who takes bath (including changing his clothes) everyday. The man who brushes his teeth everyday. The man who wakes up when you want him to. Lol, let’s get back to Sanghavi now.
Doood! Look at this!; Abey ye dekh kya arbit hi mach raha hai!; Oye, treat de de yaar!; Faawwwwwwk!; Abey infy kaam pada hai yaar; Infy jhamele hai. Thuki padi hai meri. Kapde dhone hai!; Quantum padhna hai!
When Leonardo da vinci was working on his secret language, this man chose to use the same concept for sign language. As a perfect consequence, no one can figure out what he expresses with his holocaustic hand movements. Even after practicing his hand sessions so much, he has vividly exquisite ways to remove mosquitoes from his room. Presenting to you, Darpan, who fights with the other Darpan because he wants the name “Darpan” exclusively. Everything for him is about stats and figures and facts and food. He gets senti on things unimaginable for reasons unimaginable, again. Having a fancy perception of everything that surrounds him, the guy can pull your eyes out to convince you to agree to the silliest thing he says. All in all, he is a good man. Don’t fight with him. He can’t fight back.
Saksham Jain a.k.a Sucksome/ Badass
Will the real badass please stand up? Oh, he’s already standing, that's his face (too much of hair to decipher anyway) :P
The undisputed badass of the team, Suck-some doesn’t refrain from showing his love for substances that the government (moral police) doesn’t really like. They’ve been trying to get hold of him since ages but his beard (whose length varies with the positioning of the sun) keeps him in disguise. His razor has caught so much dust, even the P.H.O’s valiant efforts are in vain. Words around, he’s planning to auction it in a rather silent bidding. :P
Jane’s sense of humour is so profound, even he doesn’t get it. After cracking one of his PJs (yes, profound jokes), Jane rejoices by vibrating at exactly 3.33Ghz before coming to rest and rubbing his now non-present beard. Exclaiming, “Abey, Woh God tha !”
A really talented guitarist and someone who stresses on rationality, Saksham can be generous at times treating you at his hostel canteen when you’re in dire need of it. (Even otherwise also, chalega be!) But he could get really furious if you don’t let him sleep, resorting to bashing people with chappals especially his better half (I mean his co-CG), and worrying the moral police again. Well, he does seem like a real badass afterall. :P
SERVICES
Mehul Goyal a.k.a Fugga
One of the few big men in the team, the others are his co-CG and our beloved OC. Mehul is your go-to guy with anything in the fest that you’d think is hard to pull off. (Yes, he’s the services guy) And bam ! you’ll get your answer – ‘Na ho payega’. And we mere mortals just retreat back not daring to say a word, hoping our asses are forgiven on our birthdays. None of the team meets have passed by without Fugga delivering his classic dialogue. (even Abhinav Kashyap wishes he’d taken our Fugga for the role :O)
Of late though, there has been a sudden transition of his favoured dialogue to – Abey, kyun nahi hoga? Leaving everyone in the team wondering what just happened.
Mehul is blessed with a voracious appetite, being able to consume three aloo, onion and cheese parathas all at once. (Yes, there should be variety too). And this appetite isn’t restricted to just food alone.
He dreams of hooking up with a cute East Indian girl and planned his travel to the eastern lands so meticulously that that people were totally unaware of his whereabouts. Keeping his mouth shut on his escapades there, he does seem quite happy and relieved. Wonder what tea, he’s been drinking. :P
Sudheer Jhajharia a.k.a eajfaeu…Jhaju
bhsaficgfi…The big man or so as he is fondly called by the female members in the team. Close your eyes and you’d wonder if he’s even present around. Open them up and you just can’t miss him. Holding the institute record for having eaten 500 bucks worth of food and god knows what in the canteen, the pizza hut guys literally begged him to spare them when he finished 26 slices on one day. Yes, he was sober then if that’s what you’re thinking. :P
dhvodsnvo…Very focused and to the point, Jhaju refrains from all sorts of bakchod during the meets. So much so that, people need to calm him down in fear of unleashing the incredible hunk breathing underneath him and suggest that the point people are scrambling over is about the fest.
Oh right, if you’re wondering why every paragraph starts with some random text, no that’s not some error. That’s just how Jhaju prefers to get the engine started.
A perfect companion and accomplice to his co-CG, they together refer to themselves as the biggest department. (Looking at them you'd dare not want to disagree)
asbfihbaif…:D
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